Evangelion 2021
by Kraven Ergeist
Summary: This is a story that takes place in the year 2021. How will things differ, now that all the characters from the original series have aged by six years? How much higher will the stakes be raised now that NERV and SEELE have had six more years to scheme and prepare? How will the pilots handle the trials of Evangelion now that they are all adults? Hints of various pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**Evangelion 2021**

By Kraven Ergeist

* * *

><p>This is a story that takes place in the year 2021.<p>

How will things differ, now that all the characters from the original series have aged by six years? How much higher will the stakes be raised now that NERV and SEELE have had six more years to scheme and prepare? How will the pilots handle the trials of Evangelion now that they are all adults?

Sometimes, the person you think you are as a child is not the same person as the one you become as an adult.

Sometimes, the person you think you are as a child only magnifies over time as you become the person you truly are.

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

* * *

><p>Shinji sipped his coffee as he stared at his computer screen, watching the lab results compile in front of him. It was his third week working on this particular project, and already he was noticing patterns develop in the wave-forms that his department's instruments had been picking up all across the eastern coast of Japan. As an assistant research analyst at Virotronic, it was his job to sift through the miles and miles of data that his company received from their off-shore monitoring stations for any discrepancies and red flags. Most of the other technicians found this to be an arduous task, but Shinji was able to manage it by converting all the data into sound bytes and listening to them in sequence. Spending as much time as he had focusing on spikes in the sound data had allowed him to identify which fluctuations in the visual feed to look out for, and already he was seeing more of these spikes emerge.<p>

If this kept up, he mused in apprehension, the harmonic convergences would most likely result in actual, physical disruptions to the eastern seaboard, causing earthquakes, tsunamis, or even volcanic activity. Such occurrences had never been documented as being related to or even caused by such sub-harmonic activity, though of course there were plenty of theories. It was not mere sound-waves that his department recorded, it was the vibrations within the very depths of the Earth, and how they correlated. If his findings were accurate, with a little bit of trial and error, they just might be able to accurately predict seismic activity days or even weeks before they occurred. Though the more Shinji looked at the incoming data, the more he was seeing convergences popping up in one particular area, and at an alarmingly increasing rate.

Of course, there were times that he had to remind himself that he was still only an intern here at Virotronic, and that perhaps he was getting ahead of himself. He was fortunate to even have this position, being a second-year at New Todai University, and he should not be concerning himself with the big issues that the people upstairs got paid much more money to ponder. Still, Shinji couldn't help but concern himself as time after time, the data seemed to correlate with his theory.

The most irritating part, however, was how little attention his superiors seemed to be paying to the issue.

"Hey, new guy!" came a shout, interrupting Shinji's concentration.

He looked up from his screen in irritation - though his computer was still compiling data and wouldn't be ready to convert its findings into sound for several minutes - and saw his supervisor, Mr. Yamada, a bespectacled man who seemed incapable of ever smiling, leaning into his work area. Shinji's cubicle was sparsely decorated and strictly functional, a telephone, pencil-case, stapler and tape dispenser on one side, and his computer and listening equipment on the other.

"You got an appointment or something?" Mr. Yamada asked pointedly, staring down his nose at the intern.

Shinji tried his best not to look like someone with his hand caught in the cookie jar.

"Not that I know of, Sir," Shinji replied honestly, turning his chair to face his supervisor, suddenly curious.

Mr. Yamada did not look amused. "Are you scouting for a new job?"

Shinji's hands came up. "What? No Sir!"

The supervisor looked like he was ready to talk Shinji's ear off when a woman in a red coat and beret strode right past the man and let herself into Shinji's cubicle.

"Thank you, Mr. Yamada," she said absently, as if the man meant nothing more to her than a fly on the wall, her eyes fixed on Shinji. "Now if you'll excuse me please, Mr. Ikari and I have some business to conduct."

Shinji stood up automatically and bowed. The air of authority this woman carried with her, and the way his supervisor shied away from her, giving her as much space as he could, left no question as to her position within the upper echelons. Whoever this woman was, she carried power. And it was all Shinji could do not to begin sweating. He wasn't sure why she was here, but if anything he had done had provoked this meeting, it was either very good, or very, very bad.

"Ma'am," Mr. Yamada said nervously. "This man is my intern. I would appreciate it if you could schedule such meetings with-"

"Thank you, Mr. Yamada," the woman repeated forcefully. "But I'm here on NERV business."

Now all Shinji could do was sweat. Bad. Definitely bad. There wasn't a single employee at Virotronic who didn't know the name NERV. The infamous paramilitary organization was one of the company's chief financial supporters.

His father's company.

Mr. Yamada went rigid as a board and swallowed hard.

"Y-Yes, Ma'am," he said hesitantly, before bowing. "Please excuse me."

He hurriedly left the cubicle, leaving Shinji, still bowing and staring at the woman's boots.

The woman let out a gentle sigh, before relaxing her stance.

"You may dispense with the formalities, Mr. Ikari," the woman said, not impatiently, but clearly in no mood for delays. "You've done nothing wrong."

Shinji lifted his head and looked up at the woman, and only then realized just how beautiful she was, in that fiery, dangerous sort of way that only a high ranking officer of a paramilitary organization (as the badge on her shoulder clearly indicated) could be.

Shinji drew in his breath, and put on his best customer relations' smile.

"Okay then," he said, nervously. "So how can I help you, Miss...?"

"Katsuragi," she said, removing her beret. "Misato Katsuragi, Operations Director for NERV."

Shinji inclined his head, impulsively. His instincts had been right on the money.

"A pleasure to meet you, Miss Katsuragi," Shinji said, lifting his head. "Is there...anything I can do for you?"

The woman took a step closer and Shinji felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He would have backed up, but there was no room in that cramped cubicle to retreat to, so he simply stiffened as Misato placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

"Mr. Ikari," she breathed hurriedly. "Your life is in danger."

Color drained from Shinji's face as he stared blankly at the wall.

"Wh-wha...?"

"In about five minutes, you're going to get a call from your department manager," Misato explained in a conspiratorial manner. "You're going to be reassigned to Virotronic's Tokyo-3 branch."

"How..." he stuttered. "How do you know this?"

"Because my boss is the one who gave the order," she whispered. "You are no doubt under the impression that NERV is one of your company's strongest financial supporters, but as of this morning, Virotronics is now a wholly owned subsidiary of NERV."

Her grip on his shoulder tightened.

"But that's not what's important right now," she hissed. "Shinji - if you remain here, they will come after you."

Shinji's mouth was dry, and his eyes were wide as he spoke with a tremulous voice.

"What...?" he stammered in disbelief. "Who?"

"Enemies of NERV," Misato said. "The kind of people you don't want to mess with."

Shinji was trembling. Were this coming from anybody else, he would have written this off as a prank. He had been terrified that he had inadvertently stepped on someone's toes at NERV, and that this lady had come to give him a slap on the wrist, but now it seemed that things were spiraling off somewhere far more serious.

"Rest assured, we won't let anything happen to you," she explained. "But you must do exactly as we say. Accept your manager's offer of reassignment, and proceed to Tokyo-3 as you normally would. Our people will meet at the station when you arrive, and you will be escorted into protective custody."

Despite this being the personal assurance from a leading member of NERV, the promise did not fill Shinji with an abundance of confidence. His head was still spinning from all this. That morning when he had woken up, it had been just another day. And now...

"Why...why would someone want me dead?" he breathed in a hoarse voice.

"For the same reason we want you alive," Misato said, still leaning to his ear. "And I can assure you, Shinji - NERV usually gets what it wants."

He had been staring dumbly at the cubicle wall before him, but something in Misato's voice made him turn his gaze towards her. She had an earnest look in her eyes that somehow made it seem like this was more than just a milk run for her. There was a sincerity to her gaze that made him believe that she meant every word that she was saying.

He had no idea what was happening, but whatever was going on, he was convinced that this woman had his best interests at heart, at least.

"My time's up," Misato breathed, before pulling away from him, and for some reason, Shinji didn't want her to go. "Remember, accept the reassignment and head to Tokyo-3. We will make contact with you as soon as we are able to. Good luck, Mr. Ikari."

Shinji was about to speak when his phone abruptly rang, and he jumped, startled by the unexpected noise. He returned his eyes to where Miss Katsuragi had been, but she had already left.

His phone rang again, and Shinji let out tremulous breath, before slumping back down into his chair.

What had he gotten himself into?

By the third ring, he picked up the phone.

"Hello?" he said, before straightening up automatically at the voice on the other line.

"Ikari," he heard the sound of Mr. Kojiro, his department manager. "Could I see you in my office please?"

* * *

><p>The next day, Shinji found himself on the bullet train bound for Tokyo-3. He hadn't slept at all the night before, and as bleary-eyed as he was now, he was unable to catch any sleep on the train either. There was just too much on his mind, and his nerves were fried thinking of all the possible explanations and outcomes. He had taken this position at Virotronic as part of a work-study program offered at New Todai, and had been under the impression that he would be spending the duration of the semester working there. Now, less than two months into it, he was being asked to pack up his belongings and go into protective custody, and for what? He was just an intern! He didn't <em>know<em> anything that would make him valuable or dangerous to anyone!

But NERV was not to be trifled with. Everyone in Japan knew this. Ever since the chaos of Second Impact, after the UN had stepped in to take charge, the organization known as NERV had made itself known as a titan of industry and technology. Most of the success of Japan was largely due to the technological innovations of NERV and its MAGI computer system. Hell, there wouldn't even _be_ companies like Virotronic were it not for the contributions of NERV.

Unfortunately, it seemed that whatever was going on in the background had somehow gotten Shinji tangled up in all of this, and it was all he could do to keep his head above water.

Aboard the Shinkansen bullet train, still sleep deprived, Shinji decided that he should at least get some work done if he was not going to be getting to sleep anytime soon. So he opened his laptop, and booted up his harmonic convergence software. He had written the program himself to make his job easier. He was rather proud of of the application, if he was being completely honest with himself. It was simple and elegant. It took the numeric and visual data compiled by Virotronic's monitoring stations and converted it into various pitches to indicate certain variables. Higher pitches indicated faster rhythms, and lower pitches just the opposite. He had showed the program to his supervisor, and Mr. Yamada had seemed unimpressed, and had told him simply to get on with his work.

Shinji had not been dissuaded, however, and had put neatly compiled reports onto his supervisor's desk _days_ ahead of his peers. He had consistently out-performed any of his co-workers, but had not heard a single word of praise for his efforts. Maybe he was showing off - he had often heard that no one liked a show-off - but even after he had showed his fellow interns how to use his program to speed up production, none of them could seem to get the hang of it. It seemed they just did not have the ear to pick up the tiny differences and inconsistencies that Shinji could when listening to the various frequencies. But Shinji could hardly be faulted for that, could he?

He did not have high enough quality headphones to do a thorough reading of his latest batch of data, and even if he did, the smooth and silent train still generated just enough background noise to interfere with anything he could try to pick up. But that did not stop him from picking up on the visual queues - any spike over a certain level was an automatic red flag. In fact, he had even added a subroutine to his program to automatically re-draw any such spikes in red to make them stand out. Already, he had picked out more than a dozen spikes, almost twice what he had found yesterday! Whatever these spikes were indicating, they were increasing at an alarming rate!

So absorbed in his work, Shinji did not even acknowledge the other passengers around him. He took no heed to the two men in suits who sat across from him, each reading a newspaper, or the woman in the trench coat and wide brimmed hat who was reading a hard-backed book next to him.

Then a tiny whisper reached his ear.

"There are six armed men in this train car, Mr. Ikari," the whisper said.

Shinji went white as a sheet. He glanced to the woman sitting in the aisle seat next to him. She had pale skin, wore a pair of reading glasses under a wide brimmed hat that matched the charcoal trench coat she wore, with black pants and a heavy pair of boots peeking out from underneath, and appeared to be engaged in nothing more than the book she held before her, a pair of fingerless gloves on her hands.

"If you wish to make it off this train alive, then you will do exactly as I say," he heard the whisper again.

It was definitely coming from the woman next to him, but he couldn't even see her lips moving.

"Blink twice if you understand," the woman whispered again under breath.

Shinji was frozen in place, staring at the data on his computer screen, its meaning completely lost to him as his brain tried to process what he had just learned. Already, his eyes were glancing around the train car, trying to figure out who the possible assailants could be. The two men sitting across from him were obscured behind their newspapers, and impossible to read.

Could the men trying to kill him really be sitting so close to him?

"Mr. Ikari..." the woman whispered urgently.

Shinji swallowed hard. None of this made any sense! Why him? Why now!? What had he ever done to deserve this!? This was all happening too fast for him to keep up! This kind of cloak-and-dagger bullshit was well beyond what he signed up for with this job!

But one thing was for sure - he did not want to die just yet.

He took a shaky breath, and blinked his eyes two times in succession.

Before he could even blink a third time, the woman closed her hard-back book, before flinging it forward, sending it crumpling through the newspaper of the man sitting directly in front of her and impacting hard against his face, causing him to cry out in pain.

The other man dropped his paper, revealing the blade of a knife, which he immediately thrust right at Shinji's face!

Shinji had about half a millisecond to cry out before the point of the switchblade stopped inches from his face. The woman had caught the man's wrist in a tight grip with her left hand, and with her right, drove a knife-hand strike into the man's throat.

He flew backwards, gasping and clutching at his jugular, as Shinji could only stare at the woman in astonishment, as if time itself had slowed to a crawl.

In the commotion, her hat had flown off of her head and was slowly drifting to the floor to reveal a short cropped mane of blue hair that did not even look to be dyed, it appeared so natural. She moved like lightning, driving her elbow into the other man's temple before he could recover, before swiping her trench-coat off from around her shoulders to reveal a skintight black tank top with two pistols strapped to shoulder holsters, and a utility belt around her waist. She tossed her trench-coat into the air, just in time to block the view of four other armed assailants who rose from their chairs farther down the aisle and opened fire.

BLAM-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM!

Windows shattered and people screamed as the bullet-fire tore through walls of the Shinkansen. Shinji could only clutch his computer to his chest in fear while the woman who had been sitting next to him dove into the aisle, her shoulder slamming roughly into the floor, and withdrawing her two Beretta 92 handguns and fired off four shots down the aisle beneath her coat as it fell.

POW-POW-POW-POW!

As she tumbled, her reading glasses were flung from her face and shattered as they hit the floor.

Two of the men went down from the woman's attack, the other two ducking behind their seats.

The woman wasted no time in climbing to her feet, holstering one of her guns, and grabbing Shinji roughly by the arm.

"H-Hey!" he grunted in pain - she was much stronger than she looked - as he barely managed to keep hold of his laptop. "What's happening!? What are you doing!?"

"Get in front of me!" the woman commanded, shoving him bodily ahead of her before he could even respond as she ushered him hurriedly down the aisle to the end of the train car. As they reached the door between train cars, she slammed the butt of her hand into the door control panel, before wrapping her arm around Shinji's body.

"Get down!" she ordered, clutching him to her body and throwing herself through the door, twisting in mid-air to land on her back to cushion his fall, her other arm aiming her pistol down the aisle where they had come. The sound of gunfire erupted again as the assailants' slugs trailed by overhead as they fell, while the woman's keen shots found another mark.

BLAM-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM!

POW-POW!

Shinji, for his part, could only clench his eyes in terror.

"_What the hell's going on!?_" he shouted above the gunfire.

The door hissed shut behind them, closing them both off inside the short dark passageway between train-cars. The bullet train was slowing to a halt as a voice over the intercom was asking that everyone remain calm. The woman was still lying on her back, holding Shinji against her with one arm, the other still clutching her firearm.

"Are you hurt?" she asked down at him.

Shinji's eyes opened, and he only then noticed that in addition to her blue hair, the woman he was currently lying against had a pair of vibrant red eyes, making her gaze all the more intense as she directed it at him. His cheeks reddened under the scrutiny, but turned even redder when he became aware aware of the two very soft mounds he found his face nestled against.

"What the _hell!?_" he demanded in exasperation, lifting his head up as he planted his free hand against the floor and tried (unsuccessfully) to pry himself loose from her grip. "Who the hell _are_ these people!? And who the hell are _you!?_"

She finally released him, allowing Shinji to get shakily to his feet, his laptop still clutched in both arms.

"I am Rei Ayanami," she said simply as she got to her feet and made her way to the door that barred them from the outside. "First Child of NERV. And _you_ need to step away from that door."

Shinji just blinked. "Wha-?"

Shinji was nearly yanked off his feet as Rei grabbed him by the arm and slammed him against the wall by the exit just in time to avoid a hail of gunfire that tore through the door leading to the train car from whence they came.

"What the hell!?" Shinji shouted again in pure panic. "What do these people want!?"

"You, as it turns out," Rei said simply as she pried open the door latch, sounding the train alarm. "As do we."

The door flew open as a strong gust of wind tugged at Shinji's body causing him to stagger and nearly drop his laptop out the exit door down what he now saw was about a twenty foot drop to the concrete road below the elevated train tracks. The train had come to a stop over a residential area somewhere in the Kanegawa prefecture.

It was still mid-afternoon, and was an otherwise gorgeous day, and if not for the events that had brought him here, Shinji might have even tried to enjoy himself. As it was, Shinji backed away from the door instinctively, before bumping into Rei's resolutely grounded form.

"Wait a minute!" Shinji gasped in terror, looking back at her. "We're getting off _here!?_"

"Unless you'd prefer to remain aboard," Rei said dryly as she holstered her remaining gun.

Shinji thought he spotted a red convertible come tearing down the road towards them, before his attention was drawn to the sound of the doors behind him from the train cars being forcefully kicked in.

"Time to go," Rei said, before almost casually shoving him out of the train car to plummet, flailing and screaming, to the street below.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" he cried, twisting his arms as he tumbled past the tracks and towards the hard concrete twenty feet down.

Then there was a flash of red, and a sudden, uncomfortable WHUMP as Shinji impacted bodily with the black leather passenger seat of a red Maserati convertible.

"OOF!" Shinji let out a loud grunt of pain as stars danced before his eyes. He was sure he had broken something, and a cursory inspection revealed that it was indeed his laptop that had broken on the floor below him

Then a loud, brash voice crowed in triumph.

"And she makes the catch!" a female voice cried out. "The crowd goes wild!"

Shinji looked up to see a fiery red-head at the wheel of the car, wearing a black leather jacket, hip-hugging jeans and a pair of black shades. While the other woman was clearly of a Japanese descent, this girl was unquestionably foreign, her eyes round and her nose pointed in a way that was at the same time both very un-Japanese and somehow, very, very attractive.

"Ugh..." Shinji grunted, wondering how much more he would be having to deal with that day. "And who are you?"

"Asuka Langley Soryu!" she turned and winked playfully, glancing at him from over her sunglasses. "Second Child of NERV! And _you_ might might want to move back a bit, Mr. Ikari."

An odd sense of deja-vu caused Shinji to glance upward just in time to see a pair of black-clad legs connected to a lithe, trim body that came hurdling down towards him to land in his lap with a painful THWUMP!

"MMMMPH!" Shinji's face turned all but blue as Rei's backside landed squarely against his pelvic bone.

"Drive!" Rei snapped at Asuka, completely unfazed by the fall.

"What does it look like I'm doing!?" Asuka demanded, throwing the car into gear just in time to avoid the gunshots streaming in from the train-car above.

Tires screeched as Asuka barreled away from the elevated train tracks like a bat out of hell, darting around the vehicles in her path, causing the other two passengers to whip back and forth precariously. Rei kept one boot planted on the dashboard to secure herself in place as Asuka skidded around a corner and Shinji tried desperately to re-position himself so as to prevent Rei from further bruising his man-parts.

"Took you long enough!" Asuka complained, clutching the wheel with the red-painted nails, her eyes on the road. "I thought you said this was the early train!"

"It was," Rei replied, bracing herself against the car door. "We got held up in Yamanashi."

"Please..." Shinji muttered in pain. "Please get off me..."

"Apologies, Mr. Ikari," Rei commented offhandedly, not sounding apologetic at all. "But we are driving at speed."

"Heads up, Rei!" Asuka shouted, glancing into her rear-view mirror. "We've got company!"

As Shinji continued to try to somehow wiggle out from under Rei's body, the blue haired girl turned her head around to see the three black sedans speeding after them as cars on the street swerved to get out of their way. The car's occupants were thrown to the side when Asuka swerved to avoid a barrage of bullet fire as a number of the pursuing vehicles' occupants began leaning out the car windows to shoot at them.

"What the _hell!?_" Shinji cried for the third time that day as he ducked down below the head of the chair. "Who the hell wants me _dead_ this badly!?"

"Did you bring Lola?" Rei asked Asuka offhandedly, ignoring Shinji.

"Of _course_ I brought Lola!" Asuka said with a smirk on her face.

"Lola?" Shinji asked, not looking forward to any more surprises.

Shinji was then allowed a deep breath of fresh air as Rei finally rose off of him, but was promptly flattened once again as Rei twisted around to straddle his hips.

"Ugh...buh...wha...?" Shinji blurted, completely red-faced as he found Rei's piercing red eyes once again level with his, her blue hair tossing about in the wind along with his own. For a brief instant, she met his gaze, as if somehow daring him to make a move, before she propped her hands on his shoulders and leaned her body over his to reach into the Maserati's insubstantial back-seat. Shinji's breathing was all but cut off, as for the second time in as many minutes, he found himself with Rei's far from insubstantial bust pressed against his face.

Not for the first time that day, Shinji wondered if he was dreaming.

Then, all color promptly drained from his cheeks when Rei revealed what she had been reaching for: an SVD-63 sniper rifle.

"Whoa-whoa-whoa, _wait_ a minute!" Shinji stammered, eyes wide with fear as Rei sat back down on his lap, rifle in hand. "What the heck is _that!?_"

"Lola," Rei said by way of introduction.

She then drew back the action on her rifle, before laying the stock of the gun over Shinji's shoulder, aiming the barrel of the gun down the rear of the Maserati at their pursuers as they skidded to keep up with Asuka's break-neck driving. Rei wrapped her right arm around Shinji's head to reach the trigger, and laid bodily against him to nestle the stock of the gun against her shoulder.

"Wha-wha-what are you doing!?" Shinji demanded, not sure where to put his hands.

"Could you please not scuff up the leather-work, Rei?" Asuka requested anxiously. "I just had this car reupholstered."

"Try not to move too much," Rei requested dryly, before taking her sights and pulling the trigger.

It was a _lot_ louder than the pistols.

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

Shinji reeled! The force of the Dragunov going off next to his ears was _excruciating_! It was like having his head bashed in with each shot! How Rei managed it was utterly beyond him, but at that moment, all he wanted was for it to end!

"_Stop it!_" he shouted at the top of his lungs. "_Stop the car! I'm getting off! I didn't sign up for this! You're all crazy, you hear me!?_"

Rei kept shooting in spite of his cries, and even managed to take out the driver of one of their assailants, causing the car to careen off the road. Half of what Shinji had been screaming was drowned out by the gunfire, but Asuka seemed to get the gist of it.

"Oh, don't be such a baby!" the redhead crowed cheerfully as she drifted around the next corner, nimbly dodging enemy bullet-fire. "You've got a gorgeous girl sitting in your lap with a marksman's rifle, and all you want to do is jump ship? You're no fun at all!"

For half a second, Shinji tried to consider the way the blue-haired girl's thighs squeezed his hips, or the suppleness of her bosom as it pressed against his chest. This thought was quite literally blown away by another round of gunfire as Rei took down another one of their pursuers.

_BANG! BANG!_

"_I don't care!_" Shinji declared, shouting like a mad-man. "_It's not worth dying for! __Somebody get me out of here! HEEELP!_"

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Sounds like our charge has had enough, Rei."

The blue-haired girl gave the driver a look that almost seemed disappointed.

"Very well," she said, ejecting her last spent round from her SVD.

Asuka smiled widely, before turning the wheel so hard, the car nearly spun out. The car continued to skid on its tires, going sideways down the road, leaving Asuka in plain view of the pursuing vehicle. Unfortunately for them, it was then that Asuka withdrew an Uzi sub-machine-gun from between her legs, pointed it over the driver's side door, and began to unload the entire clip into the last car.

The entire front bumper of the unfortunate black sedan completely peeled off from the bullet-fire, before a lucky round found one of the car's front tires, causing a blow-out that caused the car to flip over forwards, tumbling into a smoking wreck.

With a haughty smirk, Asuka put her foot on the gas, and sped off once again down the road.

* * *

><p>By the time they made it to the highway, Rei had finally climbed off of Shinji, and the two of them sat side by side, sharing the seat. It was awkward, but not nearly as awkward as their last two or three positions had been. Shinji was fairly certain he had tiny spirals where his eyes should have been.<p>

In spite of the earlier chaos, however, the feel of the wind whipping at his hair as the convertible sped down the highway as the late afternoon sun slowly began to descend towards the horizon was really doing wonders for his nerves.

It really was beautiful day.

"You really named your gun 'Lola?'" Shinji asked, disbelievingly.

"She names all her guns," Asuka snorted, wryly. "Just ask her what she calls her sidearms."

Rei withdrew her two matching Berreta 92 hand-guns.

"Say hello to Samson and Delilah," Rei said, a hint of pride in her voice.

Shinji couldn't help but shy away. "Charmed..."

"Heh," Asuka snorted. "Just wait till you meet Vicki."

"Do not make fun," Rei retorted, holstering the weapons. "Vicki has gotten the two of us out of a good deal of trouble."

Asuka wrinkled her nose. "Yeah, and gotten us _into_ far worse trouble. And hey, not that it wasn't some damn fine shooting - and that _was_ some damn fighting shooting back there - but did you _really_ need to round second base with Mr. Ikari here in order to do it?"

Shinji's face colored once again. Rei simply looked befuddled.

"It was the most efficient solution to gain a steady firing position and keep Mr. Ikari covered," she said, matter of factly. "It seems to me that it was the most logical solution at the time."

"I don't know about that," Shinji muttered, gingerly touching his ears. "Are my ears bleeding? I feel like I burst an eardrum."

Rei inspected the side of his head, appraisingly. "I do not see any blood."

Asuka cracked her neck, one hand on the wheel. "Nothing a little dip in a pool of L2 won't cure!"

Shinji raised an eyebrow. "L2?"

Rei threw the other woman furtive glance. "Asuka, Mr. Ikari has not yet been cleared for that level of intel."

"Ah, he'll be cleared for it soon enough," the redhead snorted. "What's the harm?"

Rei looked away, nose wrinkled. "It is the principle of the matter."

Asuka might have begun harping on the other girl for being such a stick in the mud, but at that moment, Shinji seemed to recall his one and only carry-on item that he had made it off the train with.

"Ahhhhhh!" he cried out, though it sounded like more of a whimper. "My computer!"

Asuka winced in sympathy as he picked up what was left of his laptop from the floor of the passenger's seat. It's screen was hanging by a single wire, and its keyboard was missing most of its keys. Shinji tried desperately to piece it back together as Rei inspected the remains with a curious eye.

"It would not appear that the computer was equal to the task of assisting in our departure from the bullet train," Rei commented dryly, poking at the smoking remains with her finger. "Poor thing. It did not deserve such a fate."

"Ohhhh...umm...don't worry..." Asuka smiled hesitantly, not sure how to amend the situation. "I'm sure NERV will spring for getting you a new one..."

"You don't understand..." Shinji shuddered in disbelief, his lower lip quivering. "My work...three months of research..."

Rei clapped her hands together, closed her eyes and began reciting a Buddhist prayer in low tones as though performing funereal rites for the deceased computer.

Shinji looked like he was about ready to cry.

"NERV will do everything it can to salvage the data on that hard drive," Asuka assured him earnestly. "Don't worry, Mr. Ikari. Whatever's on there is probably just as important to us as it is to you."

Shinji gave Asuka curious look. "Wait...is _that_ why I got dragged into all this?"

"Sort of..." Asuka looked uncertain. "How much did Katsuragi brief you on, anyway?"

"Not much," Shinji admitted. "She just said I was going into protective custody."

Rei and Asuka exchanged a curious glance.

"Protective custody?" Asuka asked, sounding confused.

Shinji winced as he set the two separate halves of his computer on the floor.

"Yeah," he scoffed. "Though if _this_ is the kind of protection I can expect, then I'm starting to reconsider my options. But then again, if today proves anything, it's that I'm going to damn well need it."

Rei and Asuka didn't respond. They were both looking to the other for some kind of queue, as if neither was sure how much they should reveal to him at once.

Shinji blinked, uneasily. "What, what is it?"

"The Captain did not tell you?" Rei asked inquisitively. "About why she recruited you?"

"Recruited me?" Shinji blinked in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

Rei gave Asuka an alarmed expression. Asuka, for her part, just shrugged helplessly.

"Might as well tell him," she said, in a resigned tone.

Shinji knit his brow. "Tell me what?"

Rei pursed her lip, clearly conflicted between going against protocol, and doing right by their future comrade in arms.

Finally, she took a breath and spoke to him with earnest eyes.

"You are Shinji Ikari," Rei said simply. "Third Child of NERV."

* * *

><p>To be continued...<p>

* * *

><p>AN: Seeing as how my last couple of fics were kind of melodramatic and bittersweet, I was in the mood for writing a fic that didn't mind cutting loose and having some fun now and then. Not sure if all future chapters will be as fun as this one, but I wanted to set a tone that had a bit of comedy, danger, philosophy, darkness, wit, sex, over-the-top-action, and all around...well..._fun!_

Rei's character in this fic is inspired in two parts by Revy from Black Lagoon and Kirika from NOIR. Asuka, meanwhile, will be borrowing a bit from Haruhara Haruko from FLCL and maybe a bit of Yoko from Gurren Lagann. Just imagine that the creative minds behind Black Lagoon, NOIR, FLCL and Gurren Lagann all decided to collaborate on re-creating Evangelion, and go from there. That's kind of what I'm shooting for here.

Stay tuned!


	2. Chapter 2

**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

**Evangelion 2021**

By Kraven Ergeist

* * *

><p>Chapter 2<p>

* * *

><p>Misato Katsuragi stared at a holographic map of Japan and its surrounding island chains. Off the coastline of Tokyo-3, a single blue targeting reticle lingered, with a timer counting down from 46:27. To the right of the map, two more timers, one black, one green, both counting down from 31:36 and 27:17 respectively, and on the left, a fourth timer, this one white and counting down from 45:31.<p>

Central Dogma was a massive technological pyramid at the base of the Geo-Front, the vast underground bunker that was the stronghold for humanity itself. Here in the Command Center of NERV, presiding over a practical web-work of computer systems and monitoring stations and displays, Misato practically had the city at her fingertips. With a single command, she could sink the dozen or so skyscrapers into the ground, raise a turret defense system sufficient to stop the world's largest army in its tracks. NERV had two fully functioning Evangelion units, with a third in reserve, each one fully tested and equipped with advanced special armor, enough specialized weaponry to occupy a world nation - each - and an AT Field capable or repelling the deadliest weapons of mass destruction known to man with impunity.

And that wasn't even going into the cyber-defense capability of the MAGI super-computer system.

Per the Vatican Treaty, the other three existing Evangelion production models were being kept under the stewardship of NERV's other two branches in the USA and Germany. To mobilize their combined might, it took a joint effort by the governments of Japan, Germany AND the United States! Once all the political red-tape got sorted out every time action was needed, each Eva unit needed to be air-lifted to the site of the attack, a process that cost each respective country hundreds of thousands of dollars each way. Beyond that, each of the pilots had to be flown in with their own separate crews to oversee each Eva unit's operation. This made the cooperative effort of coordinating an effective defense utilizing all six units nearly impossible to pull off, particularly without advance warning of when an attack was going to take place.

Which made it all the more important that the Third Child be brought to Tokyo-3 as soon as possible.

"Captain," Hyuga, one of the three chief technical workers drew Misato's attention away from the holo-display. He was thin, had short hair and wore glasses, and would have been the most forgettable face at NERV if not for his affable demeanor. "We've just received confirmation that the Third Child is en route to Central Dogma. From the sound of it, the pilots ran into some trouble along the way, but all three of them will be here within the hour."

He adjusted his glasses as he looked at the printout in his hands.

"The _exact_ phrasing was 'They put up about as much fight as gang of toddlers, next time give us a real challenge,'" Hyuga raised an eyebrow at the note. "And then there's just a drawing of a smiley face with some devil horns."

Misato nodded, a knowing smile on her face. "Very good, Lieutenant. Make sure that the clean-up crews are dispatched."

"Already on it," Hyuga nodded in response and returned to his seat.

Misato reached into her pocket and withdrew her ID card and slid it through the slot of a red telephone that was a direct line to the Commander of NERV.

"Captain," the Commander's voice answered expectantly. "I assume you have some good news for me."

"Yes Sir," Misato replied curtly. "The Third Child is on his way to Central Dogma."

"Tell me," the Commander mused. "What was your exact purpose in sending our only two functional pilots to personally escort him to headquarters?"

Misato pursed her lips. She had been anticipating this conversation.

"The threat to the Third Child's life was clear," she said simply. "I presume you've seen the report, Sir. I believe I was justified in sending those two as an extra precaution."

"Would it not have been more prudent to have Section Two take care of it?" Commander Ikari asked pointedly.

Misato suppressed a smirk. "How shall I put this delicately, Sir?"

She heard a snort of amusement on the other line. "By all means, I invite you to be frank."

Misato nodded, though he could not see, and cleared her throat.

"Then _frankly_, Sir, Rei and Asuka could run circles around Section Two," Misato said dryly. "They're the best trained operatives we have. _Frankly_, Sir, we made them _too_ good."

"Your point?" the Commander asked.

"Something like this is well within their capacity," she elaborated. "And with all the tension accumulating from the impending attack, it's healthy for them to get out and loosen up. It will improve their morale and make them better at their real jobs, and more importantly, it will _guarantee_ the safety of the Third Child - something that I was not entirely comfortable leaving to Section Two alone. And rightly so, as it seems the report would indicate."

"I will cede the point with regard to the Second Child," the Commander allowed. "But not the First Child. Ayanami's psychological resilience is well above that of any of your operatives, and is absolutely none your concern, Captain."

Misato chewed on her lip. She forgot how sensitive the Commander was about Rei. "I know that, Sir. But she and Asuka make a great team. They keep each other in check. Sending in Asuka alone would have been a mistake."

"I will respect your judgement on the matter, Captain," the Commander Ikari finally resigned. "But do consult with me the next time you make decisions of this nature."

"Understood, Sir," Misato nodded, a satisfied smile on her face.

As she hung up the phone, she glanced up at the holographic map, before toggling a switch on her control panel that caused it too zoom in towards Tokyo-3, where a reticle following a red, white and blue point of light all moving in unison began to descend into the Geo-Front.

Misato laced her fingers and rested her chin on her hands. She hoped Shinji could forgive her.

* * *

><p>The look on Shinji's face, Asuka decided with a smirk, was absolutely priceless.<p>

"You want me to _what?_"

Asuka shrugged in a helpless manner, still wearing in her jeans and leather jacket, though her demeanor suggested anything but the desire to be helpful.

"Rules are rules, Mr. Ikari," she sighed. "All immigrants to Tokyo-3 are required to go through a level three sanitation and decontamination treatment before being allowed into Central Dogma."

Rei nodded in affirmation, arms crossed and eyes closed. She was still wearing her black tank top and cargo pants, guns still strapped to her shoulder holsters.

"Indeed," she said. "Those are the rules."

"And like it or not, _you're_ not from Tokyo-3," Asuka wagged her manicured finger at him teasingly. "So get in there and strip down."

'There' in this case was NERV's industrial decontamination vessel, a massive receptacle built into the wall of Central Dogma's checkpoint. It had sixteen sanitation, rinse, air-dry, steam clean and heat treatment cycles, and was just about capable of turning raw sewage into fresh drinking water in a little under twenty minutes.

Shinji looked helplessly at the massive steel door and all the pipes and tubing lining the industrial white tile walls, floor and ceiling visible beyond it in the dim light. It looked like just about the last place on Earth he'd want to set foot into, least of all without his clothes.

"Do I _really have_ to do this?" he asked, sounding completely crestfallen.

"Sorry, Mr. Ikari," Asuka smirked. "Them's the works. Just consider yourself fortunate that you can at least keep your underwear on. Rei and I got nothing but towels when we went through last time!"

Rei scratched her nose dismissively. "You will recall that we agreed never to discuss that again, Asuka?"

Asuka snickered. "Oh, did we agree on that?"

Shinji kicked off his shoes and walked dejectedly into the sanitation room, and looked around, uneasily.

"Where am I supposed to put my clothes?" he asked hesitantly, slowly unbuttoning his dress shirt.

Asuka had to stop herself from cackling with laughter as she glanced away. "Oh, just hang them anywhere. They'll get washed too."

Rei narrowed her eyes. "Do the words 'Dry Clean Only' mean nothing to you, Asuka?"

"What was that?" Shinji asked out loud.

"Nothing, nothing," Asuka giggled. "Almost done in there, hot stuff? Cause I am _not_ coming in there to check on you."

Shinji sighed audibly. "Yeah, yeah, I'm ready."

Asuka closed the hatch, leaving only a single tiny porthole through which to view the spectacle that Shinji Ikari was about to become. She then threw the switch on the wash cycle, and the machinery kicked into gear, filling the chamber with vaporized sanitation fluid, first steaming hot, before another blast that was freezing cold. From within, Shinji's pitiful cries of displeasure could be heard as hot and cold liquid assaulted every inch of his unprotected skin.

Asuka didn't even bother peeking in through the porthole - she was just simply doubled over in laughter.

"Bahahahahahaha!" she cackled like a hyena. "Oh, that poor sap!"

Rei sighed and shook her head, giving Asuka a disapproving look.

"You are an evil woman, Asuka Soryu," Rei reported frankly, not sounding all that accusatory.

"Hey, you're guilty by association!" Asuka stuck her chin out at her. "You could have stopped me at any time, and you didn't."

"True," Rei allowed as Shinji let out a particularly shrill yelp from behind the door. "Though only because I did not think he would actually believe you."

"Pilots!" Misato's voice called out as she strode down the hallway towards them in her red jacket and beret.

Rei and Asuka instinctively stood at attention by the door to the decontamination vessel.

"Yes Ma'am!" both pilots responded crisply, though both were seemingly struggling to maintain a straight face.

"I expected you both in the briefing room half an hour ago," Misato admonished as she strode in front of them, giving them both an appraising look. "Where the hell have you two been? And is _somebody_ going to tell me just where the Third Child is?"

Asuka threw Rei an innocent look. "Does she mean that guy we were with? Wasn't it _your_ turn to watch him, Rei?"

Rei shrugged, feigning ignorance. "I assumed he was with you."

Asuka threw up her arms in mock agitation. "Damn it, Rei, you had _one job!_"

"I had about twenty-seven jobs, by last count," Rei retorted.

Misato rolled her eyes. As well as they worked together in the field, the two of them could be absolutely incorrigible when they got like this.

"Ladies, I have precisely _zero_ patience for this right now!" Misato raised her voice above the ruckus the machinery around her was making. "I want the Third Child in the briefing room in _five minutes_, or so help me-!"

That was when Shinji let out another yelp of discomfort from behind the sealed hatch, and Misato slowly clenched her eyes shut.

"He's in the sanitation unit, isn't he?"

Rei clasped her hands behind her back. "Per NERV safety protocol 26-A-"

That's when Asuka lost all control and burst into a fit of chortling laughter, as Rei gave her a disdainful look for interrupting her.

Misato let out an exasperated sigh as she slammed her fist against the decontamination unit's kill switch.

"You two are real pieces of work, you know that?" Misato growled in frustration as she yanked the door open, eyes pointed at the ceiling as she leaned impatiently towards the opening. "Alright, party's over! Hurry up and get dressed in there!"

As Shinji scrambled to find a towel amidst curses and sputtering, Misato crossed her arms as she gave the two women in front of her a chiding stare.

"Care to explain this?" she asked.

"Per NERV safety protocol 26-A," Rei continued. "All immigrants to Tokyo-3 must undergo a level three sanitation and decontamination before entering Terminal Dogma."

Misato rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Level three. Otherwise known as a_ shower_. You two had this thing cranked up to level _seven!_"

"Level _what!?_" Shinji's voice croaked as he emerged through the door to the sanitation unit. He was carrying his white dress shirt in his hands, which was now about four sizes too small. So all he wore were his black pants and gray undershirt, his hair still wet.

Misato cast a sideways glance at him as he stepped out. He was not out of shape.

Asuka was still rapt in a fit of laughter, and Shinji's eyes narrowed into a scowl.

"Oh, that's _real_ cute, you two," he snorted in derision. "Let's all prank the new guy. Real mature."

Rei tilted her head to the side. "Would it help if we said that we just being thorough?"

Misato massaged the bridge of her nose. "Alright, alright, enough of all this. I need the three of you to come with me, _right now_."

She turned on her heels and strode off at a brisk pace down the hallway into Central Dogma.

Shinji threw his now toddler-sized dress shirt at Asuka, which she caught easily.

"You two owe me a shirt, by the way," he glowered in a huff before turning to go.

Asuka could only snicker as he stormed off after Misato, before exchanging a glance with Rei. The blue haired girl just shook her head, but Asuka knew her fellow pilot well enough that she could not hide the amused smile on her face.

"Perhaps we went just a little bit overboard with that one, Asuka," Rei sighed.

"Yeah, maybe," Asuka allowed. "But hazing's all part of building up team morale."

Rei nodded in resignation. "As you say."

Asuka smiled in affirmation, tossing Shinji's ruined shirt in the disposal, before glancing at Shinji's retreating form as they followed behind him, letting him stubbornly keep his distance.

Despite herself, it was kind of cute how riled up he got over the whole ordeal, and she was actually rather surprised how well he was taking things, given how his day had gone. Any other civilian would have probably broken down by now, but Mr. Ikari seemed to be taking this in stride. If she was being perfectly honest, he was nothing like what she'd expected.

Also, while their intel painted him as little more than a scrawny nerd, from the back with his arms bared, Asuka had to admit, the guy wasn't badly built.

She glanced back at Rei and smirked. "You admiring the view as much as I am?"

Rei's cheeks actually colored slightly as she looked away. "It is not...unpleasant..."

Asuka chuckled playfully. "It's going to be interesting, huh? Working with Mr. Ikari from now on?"

Rei nodded in agreement. "Yes, I do believe it will be."

* * *

><p>Shinji sat with his arms crossed, still in his gray undershirt, as Misato finished her briefing, a sullen look on his face.<p>

"Any questions?" she asked pertly.

The briefing room they were in had a floor to ceiling window that provided an extraordinary view of the Eva cages adjacent to them. The massive purple Unit 01 and the bright red 02 were both in their locked and ready positions, with all kinds of maintenance equipment all around making last minute adjustments and touch-ups, sparks flying everywhere as they worked. All sorts of compounding announcements could be heard muffled over the loudspeakers, even from within the sealed room.

Rei and Asuka were leaning by the door as they watched as Mr. Ikari took this all in. Misato had gone over the Evangelions, and their combat effectiveness, but she had yet to mention anything regarding the threat that they were designed to contend with. Still, Shinji was being briefed on some highly need-to-know material, and although neither said a word, both pilots were wondering just how he would react to seeing the sheer scale of their operation.

Shinji stood up from his folding chair, a challenging look on his face.

"Yeah, here's a question Miss Katsuragi," he asked, still seemingly in a sour mood. "Why exactly did you go to all the trouble of warning me in person about someone threatening my life, only to have me board a train to Tokyo-3 by myself?"

Misato blinked, surprised at the direction of his inquiry.

"You weren't on the train by yourself," she said, avoiding the question. "We had Ayanami there with you every step of the way."

"You came all the way out to Tokyo-2 to deliver the message in person," Shinji shot back. "You could have taken me into protective custody there and then. Why didn't you?"

Misato hesitated. She hadn't counted on Shinji asking her about _this_.

"We didn't have enough intel about the enemy's movements," she admitted, glancing away. "We needed to-"

"To what?" Shinji demanded indignantly. "Use me as bait?"

Misato's eyes widened in surprise. "What? No, we just..."

She trailed off, and Shinji's eyes narrowed.

"You don't even know _who_ was coming after me, do you?" he demanded, sounding angry.

Asuka's eyebrows raised. For a college intern, the guy was perceptive.

"Tell me I'm wrong," Shinji pressed.

"Now hold on..." Misato said, holding her hands up. "That's classified intelligence."

"So are the two Category-5 _super-weapons_ you just showed me!" Shinji blared, gesturing towards the Eva units. "This isn't protective custody, this is a _fortress!_ You've brought me neck-deep into the makings of an all-out _war_, Miss Katsuragi. And I sure as hell didn't sign up for it!"

Misato scratched the back of her neck, closing her eyes in consternation. This wasn't going the way she'd hoped at all.

"You're not even a _little _surprised by the two massive bio-weapons over there?" Asuka asked, incredulously.

"Not really," Shinji said, looking back at the redhead. "I worked for one of NERV's subsidiary corporations. Stuff gets through the grapevine. They're certainly _impressive_, I'll grant you, but I've never really been that big a fan of military hardware. Didn't expect NERV to borrow so much from old Kaiju movies though. But did I forget to mention the part where my _father's_ the one running this whole operation? I don't care _what_ you've got going on here, _I_ don't want any part of it."

Shinji returned his gaze to Misato.

"Not after all the shit I've put up with."

Misato threw a dirty look towards Asuka. Asuka gestured back with a rhetorical '_what?_' look.

"Look..." Misato sighed, looking back at Shinji. "If this is about your father..."

"If that man wants to go start a war somewhere, that's his business," Shinji snorted. "He's played absolutely no role in where I got to today. I got to New Todai _on my own_! I got that position at Virotronic _on my own_! And I'm _not_ giving that up just because he has some sort of use for me!"

Misato sighed. "Alright, you don't get along with your father. I get it. I really do. But Shinji-"

"This isn't about him, though," he cut her off. "This is about _all of you_, and your _complete_ disregard for my wishes! I didn't _ask_ for any of this. And I _don't_ want to be here!"

"Mr. Ikari," Rei finally spoke up. "I apologize for the situation we've put you in. We did not intend to put your life in danger, but there are circumstances beyond our control that are at work here."

Asuka nodded. "Yeah. Like it or not, you need our help, big guy. And as it so happens, we need your help too."

Shinji raised an eyebrow. "What exactly do you need _me_ for?"

Misato crossed her arms. "Well, to start with, it turns out _you're_ a viable candidate for an Evangelion pilot."

Shinji blinked in stupefaction, as if completely unable to believe what he was hearing.

"You're kidding, right?" he demanded, gesturing to himself incredulously. "I'm a research analyst! A pencil pusher! I crunch _numbers_ for a living! Are you _seriously_ trying to tell me you want me to sign up to be a soldier?"

Misato let out a sigh.

"No," she said simply. "Not if we can help it. But you're still a candidate, and that means that you're a target as well. Any country even _thinking_ of developing Evangelion technology of their own will pay through the nose to get their hands on someone like you, and that kind of incentive brings out some of the _worst_ criminals imaginable."

Shinji sat back down. "Great..."

"More importantly," Misato said, thumbing a control switch on the wall, rendering the transparent glass window into a digital screen, displaying a map of the Japanese coastline, and a blinking targeting reticle just off the coast. "Your research may have led to a breakthrough that has given us a tactical edge that we didn't think possible."

That got Shinji's attention. "My research? What are you talking about?"

"As I said, Virotronic is a subsidiary corporation of NERV, and we've been monitoring your research for some time," Misato raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Interested now?"

Shinji crossed his arms. "I don't appreciate having my work re-appropriated, Miss Katsuragi. What have you done with my research?"

Misato shook her head. "Mr. Ikari, you signed a non-disclosure agreement when you took your job at Virotronic. Any and all information you collect while working there belongs to NERV."

Shinji pursed his lips, but he realized that there really wasn't anything he could say to that.

"Now, I'll let the Doctor explain what's been going on with your research," Misato elaborated. "Suffice it to say, your work has _not_ gone unnoticed. Not by us. And not by the enemy."

"_What_ enemy?" Shinji demanded, looking more alarmed than angry. "_Who_ have I been inadvertently picking fights with?"

Misato stared bitterly at the floor.

"We don't know _who_ they are," she breathed in resignation. "It's true. We used your reassignment as bait to draw them out of the woodwork."

Shinji slowly clenched his hand into a fist.

"But I promise you," Misato held a hand up. "We had everything under control. Your life was never in any real danger. You were in the best hands possible for..."

Misato trailed off as Shinji abruptly stood up with grunt and marched towards the door.

"Forget this," he said gruffly. "I'm leaving."

Rei and Asuka stood up straight, completely caught off guard as he stormed past them, and looked to Misato as if wondering what they should do about it.

"Mr. Ikari!" Misato blurted, as she moved to follow him.

Before Shinji even made it to the door, however, the door opened from outside, and Shinji ran headlong into a blonde-haired woman in a white lab-coat over a blue blouse and black skirt.

"Whoa!" he gasped, throwing his hands up to shoulder-height, too late to catch whatever was hitting him.

"Oh!" the woman cried out as she stumbled awkwardly on her black heels and fell back onto the floor, dropping a handful of files and papers all around her.

Shinji took a step back from the impact, shaking his head and looking down to see the pretty blond on the floor. He quickly felt like a jerk for being so careless, and decided to kneel down to help the woman, whoever she was.

"Um...sorry about that..." he stammered, offering his hand politely. "Are you alright?"

The woman, appearing to be somewhere in her thirties, readjusted her glasses and gazed up at the lithe young man, before blinking in recognition.

"Oh," she said, staring awkwardly. "You must be Shinji Ikari."

She accepted Shinji's hand as he helped her up, and was surprised how strong he was.

"You, uh..." she cleared her throat as she looked away, somewhat flustered by his sparse attire. "You have your father's eyes..."

"Yeah..." Shinji said, looking back at the other women standing behind him. "I get that a lot."

"Hey, Ritsu," Misato said weakly as she and the other two filed out of the briefing room. "You alright?"

"Fine, fine," she said, turning her attention back to the young man and smiled. "So, you're the genius behind the Harmonic Convergence program?"

Shinji blinked in surprise. No one had ever called him a genius before.

"Genius?" he asked. "I'd...hardly call it _that_, but..."

"Are you kidding me?" Ritsuko asked, practically beaming. "The data that you've uncovered has allowed us to make sense of _everything_ we've been tracking for the last eight years!"

Shinji's eyes widened. He was not used to anyone putting any kind of value in his work.

"It...it has?" he stuttered.

The Doctor smiled. "It has! How did you _possibly _manage to sift through that much data on your own? It would take the MAGI months just to sort through it all!"

Shinji blushed slightly. All these compliments were beginning to overwhelm him.

"Well," he muttered. "I...developed a program that converted the data into an audio format, and I just listened to..."

Then he shook his head as something finally clicked in his head.

"Wait a minute, you work with the _MAGI_ computer system!?" he gasped. "The super computer that basically runs the entire system of government in this country?"

Ritsuko smiled proud. "Well, yes. My mother was the one who created it."

Shinji's eyes widened. "_You're_ Doctor Ritsuko Akagi!? Oh my gosh! I had to research your findings on bio-informatics for my entrance exam at New Todai!"

The Doctor blinked in surprise. "Oh...I had no idea I was being taught in textbooks these days."

Misato stiffled a laugh while Ritsuko let out a breath.

"Christ, I feel old now," the blonde said.

"Not at all!" Shinji blurted, before blushing and holding his hand over his mouth. "I mean...uh...that is...oh, here, let me help you with these..."

He bent down to retrieve her fallen papers and files.

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Smooth."

"Oh, no, that's alright, I've got it," Ritsuko said politely as she bent down to help him. "Anyway, is that really how you manage to process all that data? By _listening_ to it? You must have really keen ears."

"That's what people tell me," Shinji admitted, still blushing. "Nobody at Virotronics could ever get the hang of it, so I figured I must have been barking up the wrong tree all this time."

"Well, maybe I could help you out with that," Ritsuko said, accepting the last of the fallen papers. "NERV has an anti-vibration sound-chamber with noise-cancelling walls that we use for microscopic detail work on highly unstable compounds. With a bit of rigging, and some of my technicians' optimized audio equipment, I'm sure you could use it to get the absolute best listening environment you could ask for."

Shinji's eyes lit up at that. "Really? That would be awesome! Could you show me?"

Ritsuko smiled, gesturing down the hallway. "Sure! Let's just get you squared away in the system, and I'll get you started. We're all _very _interested in letting you get on with your work."

Shinji nodded and followed along as Ritsuko lead him down farther into Central Dogma.

Misato, Rei and Asuka all just sort of blinked in astonishment.

"Um...what just happened?" Asuka asked, flabbergasted.

"I think they just had a 'nerd moment,'" Misato scratched her head.

"Great minds do tend to think alike, I suppose," Rei offered.

Misato crossed her arms. "Huh...well, as long as he's on board with us, then I guess there's no problem."

She turned to the other two girls.

"As for _you two_, I want a _full_ report on my desk by the end of the day," she said, her feathers still ruffled from their earlier prank. "And you've _both_ got sync tests to make up for from yesterday, so get to it."

Both girls saluted, though Asuka rolled her eyes as she did.

"Aye-aye, ma'am."

* * *

><p>Shinji blinked, the flashbulb from the camera leaving a dull blotch in his vision, as Ritsuko handed him his freshly printed ID card. One of her lab technicians had mercifully loaned him a shirt, so now he was at least fully clothed.<p>

"There you go," she said as he took the card and frowned dubiously at his photograph, absently wondering if it would look better if he had smiled more. "Now that you're in NERV's system, you can feel free to make use of any of NERV's technical equipment available at security clearance level D."

Shinji glanced at the large letter D on his card.

"What does that give me, exactly?" he asked, curiously.

Ritsuko nodded. "If you'll follow me..."

Ritsuko lead him through a series of security doors, all of which they both had to swipe there cards to get through. While he had not meant to snoop, he did notice the letter E on her security card, and he wondered how many security levels there were at NERV.

When he asked her about it, he saw a glint of approval in her eyes as she continued to step at a lively pace, her heels clacking on the linoleum floors, a leather briefcase in her hand as they passed by security, technicians and other personnel.

"You're quite observant," she remarked. "I wonder if the Captain even realizes how much so. Anyway, I'm the head of NERV's technical unit. Due to the sensitivity of the research you will be conducting, you'll be reporting directly to me. As such, you'll have access to quite a few resources that the vast majority of the technical crew here do not have access to, such as our particle accelerator, as well as intel that the entire JSDF is not privy to, such as the movement of factions like the one that attacked you."

Shinji furrowed his brow as Ritsuko lead him into a secluded office space.

"Who were they exactly?" he asked, suspiciously.

"Mercenaries, in all likelihood," she said distractedly as she punched a six-digit code into a wall panel. "Or terrorists. People who want the power that NERV has, or to sell it to someone who does. But to be perfectly honest, Shinji, they are the small fry compared to what _you'll_ be tracking down for us."

Shinji was about to delve further when a large steel door slid open, leading to a dimly lit lab with various signs saying 'Quiet Please - Testing in Process.' Ritsuko stepped inside, and as Shinji followed her in, he saw a young man in a Hawaiian shirt, glasses and a ponytail, wearing a pair of large headphones, who looked to be about Shinji's age, typing at a computer.

"Look sharp, Aida," Ritsuko casually called out as they entered, flicking the lights on to get his attention. "You've got some new help."

The young man turned and removed his headphones, before adopting a friendly smirk.

"Oh, hey Doctor," he smiled lackadaisically. "This the new guy you were telling me about?"

Ritsuko nodded as Shinji stepped forward, bowing politely. "Ikari Shinji. Nice to meet you."

Kensuke didn't return the bow, but rolled forward in his swivel chair and offered his hand in a very western fashion. "Aida Kensuke. So, you're the genius everyone's been talking about?"

Shinji shook his hand, a flabbergasted expression on his face. "Why does everyone keep calling me that!?"

Ritsuko could tell that Kensuke was about to go off on a similar diatribe about Shinji's findings as she had, and cut him off.

"Never mind that," she said, reaching into the briefcase she was carrying and pulling out the bullet-riddled husk that had once been Shinji's laptop and offering it to Kensuke. "Here - we need what's on here, and we need it soon."

Shinji withered as he watched the remains of his poor, decrepit machine get passed around. Kensuke, upon receiving the remains, rolled his chair over to the metal table at the center of the room, set the hunk of junk on the table, adjusted his glasses and crossed his arms as he stared at the hardware, a look of disquiet on his face.

"I don't know, Doctor," he said thoughtfully as he scratched his chin. "I mean I'm good, but I'm not a miracle worker. This thing looks like it's been through a war zone."

"Just see if you can salvage anything on the hard drive," Ritsuko replied. "Put anything you can recover onto an external and have it sent to my office. Oh, and Mr. Ikari is going to be needing a new computer to work on. Something optimized for high quality sound processing and heavy data transfer."

Kensuke looked up from the grim task the ruined laptop foretold, and smiled at the much more engaging prospect of requisitioning computer parts.

"I've got just the thing!" he said, eagerly as he kicked his swivel chair back over to his computer and began typing furious as he browsed through available hardware.

"Don't worry," Ritsuko gave Shinji a reassuring smile. "Apart from our MAGI specialists, Aida's the best computer technician we have. If anyone can recover your research data, it's him. Now, how about we check out that sound chamber?"

Shinji perked up at that. "Yes Ma'am!"

Ritsuko watched with a small amount of delight as lead Shinji to the other end of the ante-chamber they were currently in, and into the main sound chamber. They both had to take their shoes off before entering, as a soft layer of sound-dampening foam extended across the floor, as it did the walls and ceiling. A single light shone from the very center of the ceiling down to a small depression in the foam where evidently the occupant was meant to sit, a set of top of the line noise-cancelling headphones laying with its cord neatly folded and running off to the end of the room where it plugged into a soundboard behind the foam.

Shinji looked around in fascinated awe.

"This is..." he began, before his voice trailed off. His voice sounded dead, like he was speaking into a fog bank. "Wow...this is interesting! My voice sounds completely muffled."

Ritsuko nodded. "A result of the sound dampening effect. No echo whatsoever. The walls absorb 90% of the sound that hits them, and we keep the temperature and humidity carefully regulated for optimal results."

Shinji watched her curiously as she spoke. She sounded like she was shouting at him from across a chasm, even though she was standing right next to him.

"Now then, while Aida gets your computer set up, how about we do a quick sound test?" Ritsuko offered.

Shinji nodded, eager to test the equipment. "Just tell me what to do!"

After just a minute, Shinji was sitting cross-legged in the divot at the center of the room, headphones on his head, and his eyes closed. Ritsuko had instructed him to keep his breathing slow and steady. With the headphones and sound dampening walls, the only residual noises would be his breathing and his heartbeat, which meant that he needed to relax his body for optimal results.

"Can you hear me?" Ritsuko's voice came from what sounded like right next to him.

Shinji's eyes shot open and looked to his left, but the room was empty. Ritsuko had stepped outside to run the sound board, leaving Shinji as the room's sole occupant.

"Dr. Akagi?" he asked out loud, wondering if he was hearing things.

"Yes, can you hear me?" she asked once more, and again Shinji could swear that the voice sounded like she was right next to him.

"Yeah," Shinji asked curiously. "Wow, it sounds like you're right here in the room."

Ritsuko let out a warm chuckle, and Shinji felt like he was being teased.

"Yes, it would," she said. "Are you keeping your eyes closed and your breathing steady?"

Shinji quickly shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "Yeah..."

"Alright then," Ritsuko said. "Now this is going to be just like a Doctor's exam. I'm going to play several tones for you at various volumes and pitches, and I just need you to raise your right or left arm as it corresponds to your right or left ear. Sound simple enough?"

Shinji nodded. "Got it."

"Good, let's begin," she said.

Shinji relaxed and listened for the beeps. They came soon enough, starting at medium pitches and slowly getting higher and higher, as well as softer in volume. He raised his arms accordingly, until there was a pause in the tones before a medium pitch sounded once again, this time growing progressively lower in tone.

As Ritsuko watched Shinji through the video screen in the ante-chamber, she was surprised to see him raise his hand for every tone without fail. The test was only designed to reach the limits of human hearing, but thus far, he had surpassed what most of the staff could hear.

She gestured for Aida to increase the benchmark, and as he tapped the up arrow key on his keyboard, Shinji still kept raising his hands after each note. It seemed that his audio range was much broader than the average human being. He might have even set a new world record; he was picking up on sounds usually only perceptible to canines.

It was a medical curiosity to be sure. Ritsuko made a mental note to investigate this further, when she saw Shinji's sitting form fall to the side, clutching at his ears.

"Mr. Ikari?" Ritsuko spoke into the microphone in alarm. "Are you alright?"

There was no response. Kensuke looked up from his computer in concern.

"Stop the test!" Ritsuko ordered. "Unseal the chamber!"

As Kensuke aborted the sound test, Ritsuko hurried to the door and yanked it open. She rushed inside, not even bothering to take her shoes off, her heels poking holes in the foam as she ran over to where the young man lay.

He had already yanked the headphones off, and she gasped when she saw blood trickling out his ears down the side of his face.

"Mr. Ikari!" she cried in alarm as she quickly checked his vitals. His heart was racing, and he had broken out into a cold sweat, and he was already hyperventilating. He actually looked like he was going into shock!

Ritsuko reached into her lab coat pocket and pulled out a walkie-talkie.

"I need a medical team in the sound chamber!" she yelled. "Now!"

* * *

><p>To be continued...<p> 


End file.
